活

huo, rising tone: The three dots on the left side connote water, while the main pictogram on the right, if used alone, means "tongue." Put together, you have "wet tongue"; the meaning of huo is "alive," or "living"--the time when you have a wet tongue.

Mandarin is awesome.

狼狈为奸

lang bei wei jian: In trying to catch a meal, the wolf haplessly kept running into the flock of sheep, scattering them and ending up hungry. The clever ferret, who was too small to catch a giant sheep but who was also starving, saw an opportunity. "Wolf! Let me help you!" said the ferret, climbing onto the wolf's back. The ferret steered his new friend slowly towards a slower, sickly sheep, then told the wolf exactly when to pounce--with great success! The two conspirators then enjoyed a feast together.

...just picked up this story in class, talking about symbiosis in different ecosystems. I clarified, saying symbiosis is a good thing for all parties in the ecosystem--whereas lang bei wei jian has a bit more negative connotation.

人定胜天

ren ding sheng tian: Man can conquer nature... reminded of that every time I see the Beijing skyline. Question remains: can man conquer human nature?

Mao's birthday in Beijing: Christmas, 2013

Just got back from a frigid ride around north Chaoyang, looking for any gas station I could find that would take my plates and registration. Even my go-to location in Wangjing failed; I even took the step of attaching the plates to the rear fender, but to no avail.

I get home and Bill Bishop's now-weekly Sinocism newsletter (apparently going out to more than 14,500 subscribers) mentions that December 26th is Mao's birthday--and 2013 marks the 120th anniversary. (Quick math: Mao was born in 1893.) I hope Mao is happy that well-meaning foreigners can't gas up for Christmas shopping. I mean, c'mon...

What is "broke"?

It's refreshing to come across Jamal Mashburn's account of the implications of the term, "broke," and what it means for professional athletes. Horror stories like Terrell Owens and Allen Iverson's life after basketball exist as cautionary tales, but, as Mashburn points out, only in a very superficial way. In only looking at the material implications of "broke," one is missing the larger problem that has nothing to do with money:

"'Broke' is not just a reflection on finances, most guys are broke before they step one foot on the professional sports field or court. Low self esteem, lack of courage and discipline, with no idea how to lead themselves outside the sport are some of the symptoms."

Courageous sentiments from a very introspective guy who walks the walk as well as talks the talk: Mashburn owns over 71 food franchises including Papa John's, Outback Steakhouses, and Dunkin' Donuts as well as car dealerships and a real estate company in Kentucky: a shining example that, for talented athletes, sports is just the beginning, not the highlight of the show.

Math is fun (i.e. easier)

In an attempt at a 'practical English' lesson the other day we talked about how to say 'math sentences' e.g. "124+235=359" When I tried to figure out the sum in class by stacking the numbers and doing 'long addition' my 8-year old Chinese students yelled at me. "That takes too long!" I asked confusedly how they would suggest I speed up. They wrote out the numbers horizontally, instructing on how to add from left to right, albeit in broken English: "Add the number 3 numbers first..."

I fee like I have a veil lifted: working from left to right, rather than right to left, and with the sums displayed horizontally is actually waaay faster. Why don't we learn math this way in US elementary school??

Hangin' out

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning, I rush to the gym around opening to fight for a spot at the bench press and Gravitron. My rivals are older men and women who could be my grandparents. The older ladies are generally taking it easy, but it is incredible to see how hard many of the older men are going after it. A few of these dudes are huge, but most are there, apparently, to keep the qi moving and maybe to get a bit of a sweat on. Very few show any awareness of weight room etiquette from Western gyms: toweling off the bench after use, replacing weights when repping in on a machine, moving quickly through an exercise if you see someone is waiting. Not really a big deal, though, because as soon as you ask to jump in on a machine folks generally either hurry along to their next routine or let you jump in. The trainers are attentive to clients misusing machines--letting weights crash, pushing on levers meant to be pulled--in all instances where things that cost money could get broken.

One, who we call Mr. Clean, is usually pumping iron and is very outspoken, leading the locker-room banter going back and forth across the mirrored room. He is a good dude, more courteous than mostAt least when I'm around, it seems like the conversation swings to talk of America or the West in comparison to China: NBA vs CBA, clothing, money. Most comments have nothing to do with me directly, but I do become the topic of analysis occasionally, particularly as I'm trying to force out the last rep of a set and am making some excruciating face or emitting some kind of gross sound. Feels good to be a celebrity--just wish it wasn't for my bitter-beer bench press face.

Perception is reality

Caught this on the wall of my gym earlier today. One of our trainers sitting on a press with a huge rack of weights pushing up apparently with a lot of exertion.. except none of the weight is actually on the bar.

悬崖勒马

xuan ya le ma: To impress a girl, the soldier took his horse a drove it north to the steppe, where could be found a massive canyon over which he could leap, impressing the lady and winning her heart. Charging as hard as he could to the brink, at the last second he thought otherwise and, pulling up on the reins, stopped himself and the horse from leaping almost certainly to their death.

Costner: Winter is coming

Coming back from my post this evening I was struck by how much more crisply sound seems to travel in cold evening air. Perhaps because the other townspeople have been chased inside, you can now hear everything: rustling of single leaves, three twigs breaking in rapid succession as a passerby steps through the gutter by the roadside. Or maybe, as mentioned before, it's because senses are heightened in cold air, and thinking becomes easier--or, rather, you cannot help but feel sharper, more alert. Certainly one is more tense, less languid, as your body twitches to keep itself warm against a penetrating wind. In the summer I could remember thinking how strange it will be to see this place cold once again. Seeing it now, I cannot believe it ever was warm in the first place.

指鹿为马

zhi lu wei ma: Zhao Gao, the most powerful eunuch in the Qin dynasty court, was contemplating treason but needed to see whether the most important officials would side with him in the uprising. As a test, he brought a deer to present to the Second Emperor. Upon introducing the animal, Zhao Gao asked for comment on his lovely horse. "My dear Zhao Gao," the emperor laughed, "I believe you are mistaken, this animal is surely a deer, not a horse!" The emperor asked the attending officials their thoughts, and one by one, each sought to either curry favor with Zhao Gao--"What a lovely horse!"--or else remained defiant, echoing the emperor's observation. In the coming days, each defiant offical was summoned to Zhao Gao and executed on the spot.

天要下雨，娘要嫁人

tian yao xia yu, niang yao jia ren: A girl was speaking with her mother, trying to decide on a suitable day to be married. They consulted the almanac, considering her year of birth and zodiac sign, the groom's sign, and most importantly, the history of weather on different days of the year. "No one wants a rainy day for their wedding," said the girl. "You have just as much chance of controlling the weather as controlling a herd of charging yaks. When a lady wants to marry, she'll marry, and when the sky wants to rain, it'll rain."

Angry Birds soda

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I'd be drinking a soda in Beijing that's part of a branding campaign for a Scandinavia-based company that makes video games played by people from Tikrit to Thailand on their pocket-sized computers--a company whose flagship product features sling-shotted birds and radioactive pigs, and which is currently contemplating an IPO with a $9 billion valuation--I would have said you were a total nutbag. And here we find ourselves...

山高水远

shan di huang yuan: In the dragon-toothed mountains of Guizhou, a poor boy stole a sweet melon from a elderly melon seller. The boy made no attempt to hide his actions, nonchalantly grabbing a melon as he walked by. "What are you doing!?" the seller shouted. "Taking a melon." The boy mentioned. "You have to pay for that!" was yelled after him as he walked away.

"If you need money for the melon, chase after me and take it--I have nothing," the boy said. "But... but it's the emperor's edict! You can't steal!" complained the melon dealer, looking around hopelessly for a constable. "Oh... it's an edict, then? Old man, don't you see? The mountains are tall, and the emperor is far away."

蜻蜓点水

qing ting dian shui: "The dragonfly darts about, rippling the water gently as it moves quickly from place to place."

Most Chinese-y thing I did this week

I took the plunge two years ago and bought a motorbike. Taking cabs back and forth from work was really taking a toll, so despite the clear safety concerns, I reasoned with myself I'd save a lot of money, life and limb be damned.

And save money I have. It was super-easy getting a bike. Cost is about 3,000 RMB for a new 150 cc moped, more then enough pep to get around anywhere (even out to the suburbs, as we experimented with a month or so ago). Gas costs about 35 rmb for fill-up, getting me about 150 km per tank--dooope! License and registration? Although I finagled mine through a shady dude I met through the bike dealer, you can now get your "blue book" (registration) and even plates through Taobao.

What I was not expecting was the way Beijing manages to control and discourage gas-powered bike riders--at the pump. I quickly discovered which gas stations around my home are a bit lax on the government's requirement to show registration and driver's license every time you gas up your motorbike (a regulation that, amazingly, isn't something required for car drivers). From time to time--at rush hour, lunchtime, and during important political conferences in Beijing--gas is especially hard to come by.

We are now in the midst of the aftermath of the Third Plenum, one of Xi Jinping's first shots at displaying the extent of his consolidation of power by outlining the extent of the reforms he and the Politburo are cooking up. It's what they call in China a "sensitive" time, which to your guy on the street basically amounts to some laws that are usually not enforced being enforced for a limited period of time, as a public security measure supposed to clamp down on any possible unrest or chicanery.

At my first stop for gas, a younger employee (first bad sign: more inclined to be performing his job correctly, to "play it by the book") who I had never seen before  (second bad sign: not inclined to give me a break as he's probably never seen me get gas from a more relaxed colleague) asked for my driver's license. Typical response: "I left it at home" (whereas "I don't have one" will definitely get you denied, some guys will let you by with even a horrible excuse for not producing the right documents). I get blown off: "You have to have your driver's license--look at the rules board over there!" I looked over at the rules board I've driven by 76 times as I gassed up at this same station in previous weeks, months, years. "Sure you can't help me out, buddy?" "Nope."

Off I went up to my mainstay: a place in central Wangjing that even during the 18th Party Congress (another particularly annoying "sensitive" time, as it lasted for weeks, throwing travel plans totally out of whack) let me have a tank. An older guy (first good sign) who I had seen before (second good sign) told me to pull up to the pump ahead. Looking at my bike and the plates stored in my glovebox, he quietly noted "Display them." Hmm? "Display them. They have to be on the outside." I kneeled down to attach the plates onto the rear fender of the bike at the pump and got yelled at: "Not here!" "Then where?" I asked. "Over there!" he said, pointing to a parking space right next to the gas station entrance.

I pushed Ysobelle (what I've taken to calling my moped) over to the parking spot and realized I had nothing with which to attach the plates. Nothing in the glove box except a ragged sandwich bag I use to hold my plates and registration. Carefully ripping the bag into a long plastic strip, I placed the license plate on the rear fender right above the reflector, and tied it on using the plastic bag-turned-rubber band. Pushing the bike back up to the pump, I turned to see a security guard from the hotel next to the station and jumped a bit, until I saw the smile beaming across his face. A smile that said.. I don't know what it said, but he approved of the jerry-rigging.

守株待兔

shou zhu dai tu: In the middle of a long day in the fields, a farmer rested for a few minutes under a tree. While he was resting, a rabbit skittered across the grass in front of him and crashed into a rock. The farmer walked over and checked the rabbit: dead. 'How incredible," said the farmer. "I have to sit under this tree more often!" And he did, day after day, quitting work and waiting for another rabbit to take home for dinner. Day after day, he became more and more hungry, waiting for the serendipity of that first resting time under the tree to repeat itself.

井底之蛙

jing di zhi wa: A frog lived his whole life at the bottom of a damp well, enjoying the puddles and flies and occasionally looking up to the small circle of sky above. One day, a crow landed on the rim of the well high above the frog. Startled, the frog asked, "How is it that you can fly around up there? There's not enough sky for a bird half your size!" The bird shouted back down, "There is more than enough sky for me. There world up here is much different and much bigger than you think. You should check it out sometime."

惊弓之鸟

jing gong zhi niao: The king loved to hunt, and one day took several of his bodyguards out into the forest to shoot down some birds with their bows and arrows. One bodyguard, a particularly ambitious man looking for a promotion, admonished the others: "What are you doing with those arrows?! There's no need for me to even shoot to bring down a bird. The mere sight of me behind a bow will scare the animal to death." A bird flapped out of a nearby tree, and as the man cocked back his bow to aim his imaginary arrow, the flying bird dropped out of the sky as if it was shot. "There! You see! Scared to death of me!" The bodyguard led the group away as his friend scampered out from behind a bush, blood on his hands from where he had broken the bird's wing a moment before.

滥竽充数

lan yu chong shu: The king of the land adored fine music, and called for an orchestra of hundreds of musicians to play at the palace. Seeing the hordes of musicians getting ready to play, a passerby asked what's going on. "They're all going to play for the king!" The passerby joined the throng, grabbing a bamboo shoot as he walked and fashioning it into a flute on his way to the palace. In the orchestral pit he sat down alongside 100 other flutists, and as they began to play, did his best to mime the flute players beside him. After the performance, he was paid for his fine renditions of the king's favorite songs, having never blown one note.

China fear-mongering

In exchanging a couple of emails with alumni friends getting prepared to visit China this spring, I am reminded of some of the conversations I have with people new to China, or who ask me about my impression of the country. "What's it like?" many folks will ask hesitantly. "It must be a crazy place..." It is a "crazy" place: in urban Beijing, I tend to think of the striking mixture of the great trappings of mega-rich cosmopolitan Chinese alongside the rural traditions of recent arrivals and the migrant masses. But I get the sense that the "crazy" meant by friends and relatives who have not spent time on the mainland circles around other factors: the police state, politics, "big brother" looking over your shoulder.

I am not an apologist for this place. The China experience particularly of an American passport holder is very very different than the China experience of some other expat communities. The biggest "experience gap" is between expatriates and Chinese citizens. Human rights violations and legal abuses here are very real. China's "have it both ways" approach of asking for recognition as a "developed" country at global political summits, but a "developing" country with an evolving rule of law doesn't do anything to help get its domestic agenda accelerating to a more equitable legal and economic situation for the majority of Chinese people.

As a foreigner, unless you really screw up, the elements of the police state that you experience amount to a dismal amount of bureaucracy surrounding visa applications and housing registration and not much else. For the relatively few who venture into Chinese-language social media, there is a more day-to-day aspect of censorship that feels more immediate. VPNs are getting better and better and allow access to international websites and other opinions. I do think, however, that you can see an irrational "Great Red Terror" in many people outside of China when they remark on their imagining of what life must be like for an expatriate living in Beijing, a fear that is not backed up as you move through everyday life in this country, interacting with people and families on a 1-on-1, face-to-face basis.

画蛇添足

hua she tian zu: A poor man was putting a new roof on his home and enlisted the help of some other villagers. After a long day of work, the man offered up a jug of wine, not enough for all of the workers. He said: "I'll give the jug to the man who can draw a snake the fastest." One of the workers quickly drew a squiggly line in the dirt and believed, for a moment, he was done. He looked at some other workers around him, working hard and perfecting their drawings. Accordingly, the fast one began to add more detail to his snake--a few extra lines, giving the snake feet like a salamander. Before he could finish, the poor man approved the drawing of another worker: a simple drawing of a squiggly line. "But that's exactly what I drew!" the fast worker said. "That's not what I see here," said the poor man. "We all know snakes don't have feet."

Thinking weather

Autumn is a great time in Beijing. The leaves change color and the wind picks up, which is good for blue-sky days. It doesn't last long--soon it will drop below freezing, and then it's time for pond hockey--but for now, the skateboard home from the subway along our back street in XiBaHe is pleasantly brisk at 9:30pm. I always find that I think better in cold weather. Less tempting to be outside, I suppose. Also, it's almost longjohns time!

Costner: Transition

I have been long in my post in the Orient. Before deployment, my expectation was for 5 years; I am now approaching 5 and one half years abroad. This place is still of great interest to me, I feel I still have a tremendous amount to learn from the people and about their language and customs. In many ways life here can be challenging. In other ways I have come to feel a great deal of comfort in my day to day existence, so much so that I could see another 5 years passing by me quickly as I move through current obligations, build other interests, and remain swept up in the dynamism of the shifting landscape of my obligations here.

Yet there is something in me that would not be content without a big move at some point in the near future. I see others here on the frontier who seem stuck; comfortable, with all their material needs met, basking in the exceptionalism afforded them by the fact that they are exotic, different, and in demand due to some luck of commerce. But there feels to be a float in the way some people move through their time here. Contentment leads to complacency.

One is inclined to think that great ideas come only so often--they are hard sought, and, once had, lead invariably to success. I have heard a lifetime of great ideas in my time here. What I have not seen is more than a handful of men or women willing to take their idea and see it all the way through to its fruition. Seeing an idea through takes more than that special gusto that comes after the second beer at the canteen. It takes discipline, organization, perseverance. I have read somewhere that greatness is a lonely travail. I believe seeing these ideas through also requires some degree of loneliness--traveling to a place that others will not go, that many do not understand. I am not sure if I am ready for that journey. Then again, I have not yet made a very good try at it.

7 things you learn about the non-China world while living in China

- A well-ordered traffic system isn't as important as you might think. Oddly, one of the things that scared me the most about the more recent Die Hard where Timothy Oliphant organizes a fire sale is that--oh man!--the traffics lights would all be screwed up. Then you come to Asia and see that, despite traffic lights working most of the time, people don't really care about them and a surprisingly number of people aren't dying because of this (at least by my last count).

- Parenting skills are not innate. You take for granted that, despite also carrying on some of the baggage from the generation before, your parents are utilizing a set of skills and knowledge in raising you than Among more affluent families China is still coming up the curve in areas like, especially during Spring Festival, not letting children play with high explosives.

 - "Hot mess" is also a business model. Constant change leads to constant preparation for opportunities that present themselves every day. Oftentimes, we develop services that we're selling before most folks inside our shop even know this is something our company does. Once we have customers, then everyone plays catch-up. It's a fun, if not ulcer-inducing model. If I had a nickel for the number of times, on 3 minutes' notice, I've been told I'm going to do something I could not have fathomed doing before that moment... New arrivals at our organization are constantly blown away by how quickly situations change and how one has to adapt on the fly. Those that cannot don't last long.

- Fashion makes absolutely no sense. The English-gibberish tshirts sported by young people in Beijing are silly--but are they more silly than paying $125 for a hooded sweatshirt because it says the word "Hollister" on it? "But the quality is excellent..." Not that excellent. As I've heard from a lady, there is something about Asian women that sometimes enables more aggressive fashion choices to work out well for them. As some folks from Shanghai will observe, Beijingers dress a bit like they just grabbed whatever was closest in a pitch-black closet that morning and ran out the door. What's more amazing than dressing like this is that sometimes it leads to outfits that, to fashionable people, "make sense." (So I've heard.) Don't get it.

- Weird food is relative. You're teaching the terms "often, sometimes" and "never" in a class about food. In asking about "foods you often eat," student flatly responds: "doves." More interesting than the student's response is how unfazed you are with their constant dining on the international symbol of peace: you just had one last month in Shenyang. at a curbside dove joint where the wait staff would twist their heads off in front of you (proof of freshness) and grill them up chuanr-style. Could have had a shot of blood on the side. You passed.. Maybe weird food isn't relative.

- We're all just animals. You can't help but realize this when you see how unapologetically open people are about spitting, farting, urinating, and defecating in public or semi-public. In the elevator today an otherwise coy and unassuming woman let go of a sharp, short burp that made me jump. Better out than in, I suppose. Just as the book title says, "everybody poops." Everybody also does everything else that involves expelling body gasses, liquids, and other semi-solids.

- Economics trumps politics. The residue of the Cold War, the lingering sense of a great Communist menace that many think they perceive (particularly in the US) is absolute horsewash. China is more rabidly free-market capitalist than the US was even in the days of the robber barons. Ever since Deng Xiaoping proclaimed, "To get rich is glorious," China has been a place where the "honor's in the dollar." Many politicians get into the game, not because of the power and influence they yield (usually not much), but because the chances for kickbacks and bribes that occur at different bureaucratic bottlenecks.

2 ways you know you're in Beijing

- When you sense oncoming darkness on a non-"blue sky" day you find yourself humming the tune of Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun"

- When your 8-year old student comments not on whether they have an Apple device, but how many they have and the cost of each down to the last jiao

People watching

The chairs in the cafes, bars, and restaurants in HCMC are oriented toward the sidewalk and street, just like you would see in a Parisian cafe on the Champs Elysee. There's certainly no shortage of people watching opportunities here, like there is in France. Streams of moped riders cruise down the streets endlessly--we're told that, in a city of 10M people. there's 7M bikes, more than 1 for every adult. Collisions between riders are inevitable. We say a bad crash in the middle of a monsoon rainstorm the other day; someone rushed off the sidewalk to help, there was an exchange of words and both riders drove off. We didn't see any money change hands.

I'm looking out onto our small lane while writing this post. Meagan just walked by on her way back from some shopping, buying postcards to send back to friends and family stateside. As much as the cafes are arranged in the French way, enabling chats about the folks you see walking by, more than anything we see both locals and backpackers buried in their 3Gs, rarely having conversation even with the person sitting right next to them. Guess I'm one to judge, typing away here at my computer in the hostel dining room. It's a sad state of affairs when, as cool as the technology is, the Facebook Mobile post about the experience becomes more pressing than really taking the moment in.

Vietnam vs China

1) Generally better level of English in downtown HCMC than you see in central Beijing where we live. Don't know if the American occupation has left a legacy of English knowledge, better ESL education system.. certainly plenty of foreigners here in the backpacker district employed as FTs.

2) Very different relationship to history of foreign aggression. Almost definitely because Vietnam won in the battle with America, France, China, etc.--versus "200 years of humiliation" in China--there seems to be less of a sensitivity here and openness to speak about the war on more objective terms. I was surprised to hear our tour guide yesterday remark how the commentary at the War Remnants Museum is "one sided."

Agreed that, although the war stuff has been amazingly powerful and moving, we're in need of a change of gears. Here we come, Phu Quoc!

Strong coffee

Waking up in Ho Chi Minh City on vacation, checking the clock and seeing 7am, it seems inevitable what the next step would be: nothing, fall back asleep. Fortunately, the coffee in Vietnam is enough to get even me out of bed before midday. After having a cup downstairs, I  cruised through the rest of a small book of interviews with Lee Kwan Yew I've been reading the past couple of weeks, and I feel ready to run 3 marathons. Nice way to counter the sluggishness you usually get from the tropical heat. Even getting a blog post in before 9am!

Vietnam visa

The developing world is a crazy place when it comes to getting had. When you first get to China, you pay for your fair share of roundabout cab rides. You need to be pushy at the different haggle-based markets if you don't want to be paying triple and quadruple the real value of "cashmere" scarfs and false Ray-bans.

Soon, you get cynical, and you start getting played less--or at least less obviously. But then you begin to see, as you get to know the place better, that you do have folks peddling cheap and convenient services, people who aren't trying to screw you really badly. Oftentimes, even large government or corporate offices will outsource stuff to very shabby vendors for logistics and POS interactions, which can get confusing, as you'll be handing money to someone with no affiliation with the company you're supposed to be paying other than a very-crumpled invoice they're yelling at you to sign more quickly so they can get on to the next customer.

I guess you're supposed to have a visa to get into Vietnam. We're both very excited to get on the plane to Ho Chi Minh City and explore a new country.. but we learned yesterday that you're supposed to get a visa for entry. The flight takes off at 5:30pm, it's now 2:30 and we still have not gotten our visa. Internet search revealed an official-looking website to get visas online in 90 minutes. In the span of 15 minutes, I've exchanged 9 emails with someone named Mr Jacky Dang who can provide the visas once I've submitted $190 to them through Paypal. Five minutes ago, submitted payment and just received email from Jacky confirming the visas'll be in our email in 1 hour (3:30 pm).

Hopefully next posting will be from South Vietnam..

Shanghai vs Beijing

Just got back form Shanghai after their Mid-Autumn hockey tournament. Beijing's team went 2-3-1, I was only able to compete in 2 of 6 games because of work conflicts. As striking as the hockey were a couple other things I observed about Shanghai (this is my first stay of more than 20 hours despite having been in China for over 5 years):

1) Way more cosmopolitan. Aside from the city skyline, layout, As I've had it put by some female friends in Beijing, it sometimes seems as if local ladies here choose outfits by turning the lights off and grabbing whatever the touch first in their closets. Shanghainese seemed a bit more fashion-forward in such a way that they were playing with trends and designs in a more self-conscious way, as opposed to the bizarre mimicky stuff you see in north China.

2) Better service culture. Waitstaff at restaurants were generally much better trained, more attentive, and had better English than what you see on average in Beijing.

3) More coins used in change. I got a lot more 1 yuan coins than 1 yuan notes in Shanghai. I definitely find the 1 yuan notes annoying, but not as annoying (or destructive to the material in your pants pocket) as a sackful of metal coins I had to lug around.

4) Tips seem expected, from foreigners at least. Whereas in Beijing you would get 1 cabbie in 12-15 who would not give you back full change down the 1 RMB on your cab fare, 3 or 3 Shanghai cabbies I met did not return the 1-2 RMB extra change, then seemed irked when I requested all my change back. Guess this is a result of longer history of Americans/foreigners in Shanghai and increased tourist numbers?

5) Bit less picky about ID-related stuff. Whereas I was almost turned away at the turnstile in Beijing when I could not produce my original passport (I had a color scanned copy), they didn't bat an eye at the train station in Shanghai... however I was turned away at the hotel when I couldn't produce an original passport.

Most Chinese-y thing I did this week

We're supposed to pay our ayi by the last day each month--at least, that's the tradition we've gotten into, which is as good as a law in China. About a month ago, she asked for a raise, mentioning how the cost of living in Beijing is getting higher, and how long she's been working for us. In a letter I left for her to read, I responded that I wasn't aware that time alone necessitates a raise; rather, increase in quality of work over time is something that seems more raise-worthy. I mentioned several areas in which she was slacking, and the following week she wrote back her apologies and conceded the point. I am waiting, however, for the sabotage that is surely being plotted.. subtle sabotage: socks go missing a bit more regularly, weird marks or tears in favorite shirts, etc.

Last week, sitting on the table instead of money, I accidentally left her a bag of week-old defrosted chicken meat. Totally accidental--in running out the door, I spaced and just left the chicken I was meaning to throw out sitting there.. festering. By the time she came in to clean later that day, it must have reeked. Needless to say, it was still sitting there when we got back in the evening, REALLY festering at that point. It's moments like these in Chinese relationships, where a faux pas has been committed and something needs to be done to restore balance to a relationship.

Typically, I would have opted for money. Decent cure-all idea, and something she might have expected, after leaving the chicken there on the table defiantly. Money can be complicated as it leads to expectations about raises. Instead, I went the curry-favor-through-not-so-random-act-of-kindness route, involving an investment of money but more so some thought and in-kind reparations. At the shop today, I purchased a bag of nice jet-fresh mangoes, and deliberately left the weight and price on the bag. Classic Chinese move, people usually don't even try to pretend they forgot to take the tag off; neither did I. To boot, I threw in some Arizona iced tea, an American import and a personal favorite that I fumbled my way through describing as "one of southeast America's favorite summertime beverages." She seemed happy enough, and accepted with a kind of half-refusal--different from the usual 2 to 3 refusals you're offered when folks are actually being polite. Talk of the chicken did not come up. I'm hoping that the case is now closed, and that she's no longer secretly grinding up glass and putting it into our muesli...

Big city

Class last night was down in the CBD, I took the R9 (still haven't decided on a name..) from Wangjing figuring that, despite the risk in rush hour traffic, I would save some time. Definitely a good cost/benefit analysis there: + save 15 mins vs - get doored and flung out onto the 3rd Ring Road fu lu. After zipping down the road, meandering this way and that deftly through the zig-zag, the engine began to sputter, and I rolled up onto the sidewalk as the pistons stopped spinning. The veracity with which everyone shook their heads "no" when I asked for a shop told me two things: 1) this seems like the first time ever where several Chinese folks consecutively know pretty surely about a shop's location, and 2) I was going to be pushing the R9 for a while before I could find anyone who could help me.

After pushing up to a shuttered shack on Dongdaqiao Road, 5 guys playing chess told me the bike shifu should be back in the morning. Turns out the bike shifu wasn't much of a shifu, and after pushing on to Baijiazhuang near Sanlitun I was told that the closest thing to there was JinTai Lu, out on the newly-constructed Line 6, about 6 kms east--one subway stop away. In southern Manhattan I could walk a subway stop in 10 minutes.. If only I had a rice cooker, or a blender, or even a microwave to fix, could jump right on the train--instead I had this 200 lb hulk of a worthless piece of iron, I thought as I sweat into the smog. Saved me some time before, but who cares about that usefulness in the urgency of this moment, right now? Crawling across white dashed crosswalks, it felt torturous to think, if it worked, I could be 5 k's down the road in 5 minutes. Instead, I'm looking at an hour or so of forced march. The white lines of the next crosswalk passing slowly underneath the tires reminded me, and each crosswalk after, that I couldn't call 114 for assistance, as the cops would ask for my license and registration if I wanted a lift. As happens so often, the convenience of China's lawlessness comes back around to an inconvenience.

Labor is the Most Glorious

This morning's Chinesepod lesson finds Jenny and John explaining a song in honor of May Day (May 1st, International Labor Day). The version of the song I hear is sung by a youth chorus, apparently suggesting to young people not to make like the "butterflies that play all day" but instead like the "magpies that make new homes" and the "bees that collect honey." In other words, "love to work and love to study."

Jenny, the podcast's local Chinese teacher, explains how this song was very popular in here kindergarten and primary school days. When pressed by John to ask how she feels about the song, she dodges and repeats that it's about trying to get students to love work and not play too much--without much effect. While all Chinese in her parents' generation would have known the song, Jenny remarks, its popularity and influence today is less strong.

Meditation

It's amazing how hard it is to think about nothing. A friend here told me about a month-long retreat he took in Burma where no one spoke for 30 days. He spent much of the day pacing around a monastery compound and just meditating, "trying to turn off the noise," surprised by how difficult a task that was even after several hours a day for 4 weeks or more.

It doesn't look like the amount of noise we'd all like to escape from sometimes is heading into decline any time soon. In fact, it seems like it's only beginning to ramp up. From mobile computers to connectivity between software connecting people with others all the time, there's always a gadget or interaction that you could or should be attending to.

My experiment is trying to take 10 minutes a day to slow down and figure out if there's any positive effects. I think Day 1 was a success as I didn't fall back asleep while trying to be quiet, breathe deeply and relax. To be continued...

Giving

One of the biggest takeaways from the Doris Kearns Goodwin bio of Lincoln was the propensity Lincoln had for utilizing kindness to fit into his unique leader's toolkit. He could at times be the most meek guy in the room, but his assertiveness when it was time to make a difficult decision, and the resolve he showed in sticking to his guns, won him the respect of his colleagues. Most importantly, his deep capacity for sympathy and objectivity allowed his decisions to be made with uncommon factors in mind, frequently allowing favors to others and building up a powerful reserve of social capital that propelled him to the presidency later in life.

I recently discovered the tabloid business news site Business Insider, which had a glowing review of Wharton professor Adam Grant's recent book Give & Take. Grant, the youngest ever tenured professor at one of the world's greatest b-schools, blends sociology and psychology in documenting how "givers"--selfless professionals who do favors for others while asking for nothing in return--are routinely the ones that get the most financial and other gains out of other professional and personal relationships. Essentially, he is mapping out how true Kanye was in saying "don't mistake kindness for weakness." (Was that Kanye West? Anyways...)

Today I went to mass in China for the first time in years. The ceremony at Beijing's oldest cathedral, founded by a Jesuit consultant to Chinese emperors, eunuchs, and officials named Matteo Ricci in the 17th century, was presided over by a priest who chose the topic of "love advertisement" as the theme for his homily. The idea basically was: love, displayed in more complicated ways but more often in simple kindnesses, is infectious. It draws people to itself and, meaningfully for a Christian congregation, it possesses a tremendous converting power that belies its meek appearance.

I took issue with the evangelical nature of the direction the homily went, but was fascinated by the crux of ideas connecting with both Goodwin's and Grant's discussions of kindness and leadership. Something seems to be in the water (or at least my water) pushing at this idea of the powerful kindness.

First Nations

In attending to HR duties here at work it's interesting reading through names of all the towns in Canada where you can find talented early childhood educators: Mississauga, Moose Jaw, Chilliwack, Penticton, Halifax... just some solid, strong town names here. Lots of choppy consonants and hard stops, in languages that I wish I knew but that you could only hope to learn today at a small college on a reservation. It's funny to see the terms for these town names and consider the heaps of humanity that call each of them home--from the teachers we're looking for to those now fast asleep, but maybe planning on playing frisbee in the park or going deep-sea fishing as soon as the sun comes up tomorrow. The world is such a huge place with so many people, but in hiring teachers and interacting with them once they arrive, you always get something different.. but you always kind of get something the same. Guess that might be the effect of interacting with someone with the same cultural background in the midst of a vast and ancient alien society.

Boston Marathon bombing

it is now about 7 hours after two bombs exploded near the finish line of the 2013 Boston Marathon. I've called over to family and friends in and around the city and luckily everyone is alright so far. A friend's little sister crossed the finish line in about 3:30, and the bomb went off about 30 minutes later, 4 hours into the race when many participants would be crossing the finish line.

Everything else still seems to be up in the air. News stories are coming in continuously, reports of the number of unexploded devices are going from 3 to 5 to 4, now WSJ is saying the police are saying that some of the "unexploded devices" are not bombs after all. I guess this is news in the 24/7/365 world of microblogs and viral video. I can see the blast in a YouTube video online and CNN is running photos of injured and bloodied on the sidewalk at Boylston Street. Apparently a 20-year old Saudi man is hospitalized with severe burns and under surveillance as a "possible suspect," whatever that means. They are saying the bombs seem improvised using nails and household explosive materials, like an IED.

Friends on Facebook are reacting with condolences and prayers. Some from the armed services are feeling prompted to greater action. Issac Stone Fish, an editor from Foreign Policy, has just noted that Xinhua's headline is: "Explosion at Boston Marathon: Ethiopian and Kenyan contestant take first place." Bill Maher is saying to "not overreact" and to handle things "Israel-Munich style." Mark Wahlberg sends his love back to his hometown, Boston. Tosh.0 self-gratifying noted in a tweet that he's showing his respect by not tweeting. It is just a wash of information and news and views right now.

What will be the implications for our way of life after today?

Aliens

The AC turns off at 6am at the Tohko resort and it gets hot in the bamboo cabin quickly after that. Convection caused by the sun doesn't come up until later in the day, so the breeze that I'm getting now typing this at the little shoreside restaurant wasn't there a few hours ago. To wake up, I grabbed a set of goggles from the rack, all the good pairs had been taken earlier in the day by island hoppers and the snorkels that were left were brown and dirty. Without breathing apparatus I jump in the water and doggy paddle along, seeing a few fish right as I dunk under. Huge bluepurple iridescent clams  muscled closed as I saw above them. Just below the water surface, I was surrounded by an alien world of life that you could not imagine by looking at the waves above. The sea was cloudy with millions of tiny plankton and krill. Huge schools of fish with bumblebee colors swam over and around me. As I neared the point where the reef drops off into the deep sea, I looked out on the blue abyss and felt like I was flying.

Long tails

It is amazing to be close to the water again in Thailand. Besides the beaches, with massive untouched coral heads swarming with wrasses and parrotfish just 10 yards off shore, the best part had to be the little fishing skiffs that act as boat taxis, called "long tails" for the long propeller shaft sticking out the back of the wooden transom. Basically this is a10 foot long shaft with a stainless steel ceiling fan attached to the end. Kind of looks like something out of a Saw movie. Docking doesn't get more complicated than driving the boat up onto the beach, and you hop out. I imagine someone trying to run a taxi service with one of these things back on the New Jersey shore... 3 things: 1) fighting with insurance company to see if possible to get insurance policy, 2) initial success followed by 3) public outrage at passenger or passerby being maimed by open propeller blade that should have never been allowed in the first place, even though accident was not result of boatman's negligence.

It's funny the relationship that developed-worlders maintain with the developing world. You stay in a place like this for a short-enough time that you're able to romanticize the dingy parts and the danger, they make the place more appealing, when you know that thr locals must experience this place in a very different way. In conversations over dinner with fellow travelers you deride the litigiousness of places like the US and wish people would just take it easy. Then you get back to said developed country and with a change of location comes a change of perspective.

Calm within the storm

Sprezzatura, a kind of "studied nonchalance," was described in the 16th century by Castiglione as the unique way that courtiers--gentlemen--go about life with a kind of ease that conceals the difficulty of things. I've written before about this kind of nonchalance and how it seems in harmony with the "unflappable" way that many Chinese folks appear to go about their day. But sprezzatura is supposed to denote the easy way people go about difficult tasks. People here, instead, seem to have an easy way they go about encountering near death experiences by car, bicycle, subway, or bus like 15 times every day. Instead of sprezzatura, perhaps the best way of relating this is more as a "calm within the storm." In the incredible hustle and bustle, noise and frenzy of everyday Beijing, there is a kind of serenity and practiced deliberateness that characterizes the local approach. It could be that everyone is just in shock. Or it could be that thousands of years of a deliberately-paced existence is not so soon cast off with migration into the city.

Elevators

Local folks in my building, usually ones that are past middle age, sometimes grab the elevator going up only to take it back down to the ground floor. At first, the 14 seconds that this adds to the process of leaving my apartment kinda irked me. (Typically, they will hit both up and down buttons to hedge, then the elevator stops to pick them up, then we stop again going back down.) I then realized that many of the old people taking the elevator up and then down again grew up in a time of amazing uncertainty and radical change, and that there would be no passing up of any opportunities on their watch to get in a perfectly good elevator passing their floor, whether it's going up or down. And then there's the distinct possibility that some of these guys are still profoundly amazed that the same China that experienced famines and so much upheaval is not a place where an electrical cable closet can move your up 300 feet in the air in like, 14 seconds.

Saying it all

On Thursday I had a number of conversations with people at work and teaching candidates overseas that had me thinking about the way people explain things to one another. A China spring windburst that almost knocked me off my bike on the way home seemed to jostle something loose: the more I try to explain a project or position completely and fully to someone, the more questions that seem to arise. How could providing details only beget request for more details? By including more details of my selection, I take the person I'm talking to down a more and more specific path that gets people wondering about the choices that have led us to that place. This can be particularly complicated in the context of a sale or negotiation, whether its in business or social life. It's not just in these situations: when recollecting an anecdote, or giving driving directions, at some point there are diminishing marginal returns on increasing information. There's the decreasing value that you're adding with additional details, but why can't more be more? As one tries to approach perfect description, or perfect directions, or the perfect pitch, the further and further you get away from these things. For talkers, there seems to be a kind of pride involved in thinking that you can approach with language all the complexities of any situation, when in fact, conversations are much more complicated and more fun because the other person needs space to discover some elements without your interference. The other implication is that language has expressive powers beyond what we appreciate, that words have valences and innuendos and contexts that we need to let breathe.

Costs of Home

...has just hit $3,500 USD. I have not seen my family together as a unit for more than a day or two at a time for more than a year and a half. so we're gonna pay what needs to get paid to get back home. But considering the most we've yet paid for tickets home was about $1,800, this seems exorbitant. What keeps airlines from jacking prices up infinitely? At what price would I be willing to forgo a trip to see family and to get home? Actually, I know: $5,255.50.

Chinese voice input

I don't know what's cooler--that someone out there (probably a team of someones) has managed to take the tonal language of Mandarin Chinese and digitize it into software that recognizes spoken words, that the software comes built into the new Android Jelly Bean update, or that I can speak putonghua putongish enough to have it understood by my phone. After many small leaps and endless plateaux with this godforsaken language, this is a moment that is surprising me in it's ability to make me feel as if I've arrived.

Costner: Water pot

Nothing purchased in this place seems to last, excepting one possession I've kept since arriving here almost 5 years ago. I did not expect a hot water heating can bought from the corner grocery to make it through, alas here it is accompanying me with my coffee each morning. It is interesting, in the face of the loneliness we sometimes feel on the frontier, how things can take on the qualities of people--things you trust, things that make you take a moment and smile, a consistent friend. If I am to ever leave this place, I think I must take it with me, for there is no chance anyone else would want it.

Frazzled

A teaching candidate came into the office the other day looking like they were about to throw up. A young energetic woman with a degree in elementary education, she was trying out what was meant to become her new class. Actually, she had not even taught a single lesson yet, she was observing another teacher handle the class. With what seemed like a mixture of fright, surprise, and disgust, she declared that this was not for her. The students are 3 year olds who have just joined an organized school for the first time in their lives. When she walked into the classroom, her blond hair and blue eyes seemed to induce the children to became hysterical as they started to assault her, hitting her on her thighs and back. Even the admonishments in from the local teacher in Chinese couldn't get them to stop, apparently. The children, in essence, were feral. The scene was like something out of Lord of the Flies.

We talked about it for a little bit, going over how she had never seen kids this crazy. We talked about why and how they had gotten this way. My thinking was something like: why would they be any other way? They're 3! They're each an only child, coddled constantly from the moment they've been born, torn away from parents not 3 weeks ago to spend all day long with a stranger. And now we had the gall to introduce a foreign stranger into their lives... With time, however, I believed they would adapt.

It's amazing to think about the way an education forms a person--not just in the knowledge they amass, but in the more simple and more complex ways in which they speak to one another, act in groups, follow leaders, and strike out on their own. When our teachers with the youngest age groups get some of our 2 and 3 year olds, that first week is an amazing challenge. Then you set up routines... for everything. For every moment of their lives. And the kids start to enjoy this repetition, and can control themselves. You can even start giving the little guys minor responsibilities, and let them teacher one another as much as you're teaching them anything.

Unfortunately for the candidate--who, I am almost certain, would eventually come to do an excellent job with the class if she stuck around--I was able to see in her frightened eyes that feeling I once had standing in front of a room of young people, bouncing off the walls, with no safe harbor of common language to run to. After seeing kids at that early stage, what miracles there are that teachers can turn surly mobs of young ruffians into functional citizens over any period of time, much less just a few years.

Hustle and bustle

Every Sunday morning cars pile up along curbs in front of the farmer's market around the corner from our apartment. Despite having 2 malls right next to the Taiyanggong subway shop, tons of people choose instead to buy their weekly groceries outdoors, at the old-fashioned, dirty and disheveled stalls and carts, even in the cold of late wintertime. Throngs of people bouncing off one another, not apologizing but just accepting the bounces, with leafy tops of spring onions sticking out of canvas bags. People are smiling, today they were enjoying the sunshine and what the local gov't refers to as a "blue sky day."

A friend returning to Beijing from studying over in the Bay Area mentioned over dinner how one of the biggest things he missed was Chinese restaurants--not for the food, which he missed, but more for the "busy atmosphere." People having overloud conversations with one another, glasses clinking, chaunr sticks all over the ground, fuwuyuan hurrying between crowded tables, barking orders to one another--in other words, a chaotic mess. The locals, as well as out-of-towners who spend more than just a 60-day tourist visa's worth of time in Beijing, know this scene. At first, you might like the city despite it, but eventually those who stick around, or tourists who want to come back, like China because of the mess.

32!

Lowest recorded pm2.5 reading that I've seen in several months! One downside is that the temperature has dropped almost 25 degrees F in the past 2 days. At least we get the nice view that a 21st-floor apartment is supposed to afford for a day.

CONTRADICTION: Manners

Confucian codes or morals and behavior are stringent on the way one is supposed to treat foreigners. I was part of Beijing-based event recently whose motto, "不亦乐乎," is based on the Confucian phrase, "有朋子远方来，不亦乐乎" translating as something like, "isn't it a pleasure when friends visit from afar." As I see it, this is interpreted by most Chinese as seriously rolling out the red carpet when they have visitors: whether it's a foreigner from outside China, or a distant family member or traveler passing through, it's not uncommon to see someone give up their own bed and sleep on the floor while you get to crash in the most comfy place available. Once you've entered into a relationship with someone--be it in business as a client, as a guest, as a friend--there are these very intricate, highly developed rituals of how you're supposed to defer to, give way to, and help out one another.

Lacking any kind of relationship with someone, however, seems to make these rituals and cultural prescriptions moot. On sidewalks, on subways, in other public places, some people display what appears to a foreigner as a frightening lack of consideration for strangers. As Hilary Spurling quotes of Pearl S. Buck, "the Chinese can appear to be thoughtful in big ways, but not as thoughtful in smaller ways." People spit while walking in front of you, jostle you sometimes necessarily sometimes not necessarily in getting on and off the subway, parents sometimes let infant children crap and pee right on the sidewalk, or even inside public areas. I emphasize some people, as increasingly cosmopolitan Beijingers are starting to scoff more and more at this stuff, but it's still pervasive enough that it will be one of the most striking things most notice about China as new arrivals. I couldn't believe, in trying to get on the elevator a moment ago, an elderly man made eye contact with me as I was inputting the door code in the lobby, then as I was coming through the door the elevator was already closed and going up. At the end of the day, none of these little annoyances are a big deal individually, but they compile to produce an everything-stinks "China day" every once in a while.

CONTRADICTION: Haves and Have Nots

When you drive out of downtown Beijing, before you're outside of the 6th Ring Road you begin to pass through villages where you can see the development of recent years has not yet come to pass. Storefronts vary between brick or concrete blocks to tin-roofed shanties selling groceries and mobile phone charge cards, and everything is surrounded by farm fields. The people here aren't destitute, but they are generally the part of Beijing making less than the city average of about 5,000 RMB (~$800 USD) a month--probably much less.

And then there's the haves. Grabbing lunch just now at 7-Eleven the guy behind me asked for a box of condoms from behind the cashier. Not a totally uncommon request, but it was asked in a kind of brazen way that's uncommon with locals here. He was wearing a baseball hat, common for Korean folks especially and Wangjing, but more and more for internationally-inclined Chinese locals as well. Walking outside I was impressed to see him driving away in an Bentley with no license plates--a sure sign of government connections, which I guess is ubiquitous for most rich folks here.

It comes up quite often in staff discussions, how unfair it must seem that foreigners make such high salaries for jobs like English teaching in comparison to Chinese white-collar workers doing work of equal or more difficulty and making fractions of foreigner pay. Then again, you see locals driving around in Bentleys and begin to see that the have-nots here are just surrounded by what must appear like ridiculous opulence at times, and there's not a whole lot to do about it.

We had an employee post a very damaging message yesterday on our company microblog site that gets circulated to all of our clients. It was known for a while that he wasn't happy with his pay, though he was being reimbursed at market with relatively decent working conditions. To be honest, can you really blame young Chinese professionals for the resentment they must harbor against all the riches they see around them? Thinking about it more, this is the same vein that Mao must have tapped into in inspiring popular support for the Communist revolt.

Devils and Everyone Else

In watching the the New York Rangers play the Winnipeg Jets right now, I'm entertained by the end to end action and by the momentary feats of individual achievement. Hockey isn't a sport that lends itself to stand-outs: things happen too quickly, it's too team-based to have superstars like in basketball or baseball, where fans have time to realize who has the ball and how good they're doing with it. Ryan Callahan just had a fantastic period, blocking 3 or 4 shots face-first, 2 on one shift, and scoring a nice garbage goal. The action is very end-to-end, odd-man rushes going back and forth, lots of posts.

It makes me think of the amazingly boring hockey that the New Jersey Devils play, and how that boringness is the result of a team of mediocre players that simply don't screw up as often as players on other teams. Each of Callahan's momentary heroics was the result of some kind of breakdown: the offside wing is out of position and he has to jump out, twice in one shift, to cover. Odd-man rushes are usually the result of an ill-timed pinch or missed hit; you just don't see Andy Greene or Marek Zidlicky do that as often. New Jersey goals are pretty evenly dispersed up and down the roster, because if you're moving that thing around the right way you don't need Gaboriks and Nashs to manufacture goals with one-man efforts. What amazes me, more than anything, is the consistency of Devils coaching that routinely produces a team-wide discipline and dedication to success as an organization, as opposed to an individual. I can see the bright lights of MSG making life difficult for even a personality like Tortorella to draw guys together around a collective goal. Give me the slightly-dimmer lights of the Rock across the swamp in Newark any day.

CONTRADICTION: Savings and Waste

The Chinese really know how to save. Pre-2007, when the savings rate in the UK averaged a slight negative percentage of earnings, the Chinese were saving 30% of each paycheck. Day to day you can see the incredible pragmatism of the people here in the ways they come up with to make money. Your local newspaper stand owner will generally also be able to fix your leather shoes and copy your housekey. Retirees drive around three-wheeled tricycles covered in recyclable styrofoam, cardboard, and metal that they exchange at the local dump for cents per kilogram. Waste is hard to find, as most of the time waste materials mean some kind of opportunity to someone else.

The blogosphere has been erupting recently about waste, however, in the form of food waste at restaurant banquets. When eating at home with their immediate family, even monied folks will eat a balanced meal consisting of simple stuff like rice, a couple meat dishes, and some vegetables. During business meetings, holidays, and special events, most locals celebrate by heading out to a restaurant, where they sit around a large table and order a ton of dishes, usually way more than could be eaten by double the amount of people sitting at the table. Between wanting to provide a show of genuine hospitality, and the high minimum fees required by restaurants booking rooms popular for private meals, almost anyone who's spent a significant amount of time here has been privy to scenes of waitresses dumping out handfuls of uneaten food into garbage cans after a Spring Festival bash. Recently, Xi Jinping came out with an "internal memo" made public about disgust with the practice. We'll see how much that changes things, and how quickly.

Words and Magic

I didn't understand Yeats when I first read his essay about magic. Incantations and spells is what came to mind, and given his reputation for being, well, very poetic in his take on reality, I couldn't really wrap my head around language having that much power.

Anyone who has ever experienced a deep relationship with someone else has been a part of the phenomenon: a thought, a sentence, even a word--the wrong adjective, modifier, choice of noun--slips out and changes the whole nature of an interaction, a conversation, a relationship. The language comes out and, like it or not, synapses fire, neurotransmitters move from dendrite to dendrite, and before you know it, you're in a lurch. Conversely, something apropos a bit of humor, an observation at just the right time unexpectedly makes the whole thing disappear again. Chemicals settle back into equilibrium. What's more magical, in that case, than a conversation? And what's more impressive, sometimes, than getting across to someone you love exactly what it is that you mean?

Snooze button

I can't believe it's taken me until my 20s to discover the snooze button on alarm clocks. Now that I have, it's been a love/hate relationship. Why is it that it always seems an extra 10 minutes of sleep will make the difference between waking up rested or exhausted? It doesn't make a difference--the coffee will wake you up just as well now as it will a few minutes from now. What I do like is how an early wake-up does really make you appreciate a good cup of joe.. and by "joe" I mean instant Nescafe packets and not 粥.

Costner: Spring Festival

There's nothing quite like driving home to the sounds of high explosives after a good meal of pulled pork. Despite a generally quiet demeanor, it is incredible to see the interest people take in these parts to ear-shattering kabooms that accompany some of the rockets used during Spring Festival. For each of the past 10 or so nights, the explosions have been practically continuous, beginning early and the morning and continuing straight through until now, almost midnight. I am not sure where the tradition comes from, and what the bombs are intended to do--scare spirits away? Attract distant spirits closer? All I know is that the face of your average man on the street is changed during this season from a mask of general malaise, to a tinge of a smile, with a spring in his step and a ni hao for all passers-by. It is uncommon to see people grant strangers such consideration in public, holding doors and standing patiently in line, as they do during Spring Festival in Beijing.

Costner: P90X

I began the day with Tony Horton's P90X workout regimen. During our jump training time, he admonishes himself as "a merciless man." I believe him to be a fine man with a dedication to making us all better, to "do [our] best and forget the rest." Though he looks something like a gecko, I have never seen calves of such sculpture on a man his age. As active as my lifestyle is out here, I would not be able to match his physique. In hunkering down for the remainder of the winter, I feel warmed by the inspiration of Horton's drive and enthusiasm. Although sore today, I know this morning's exertions will strengthen me in the end.

CONTRADICTION: "Police state" and "lawlessness"

The grand bargain made between China's leaders and the guy on the street goes something like: "The big guys assure steady economic growth, and in return you agree not to rock the boat." Sounds surprisingly similar to the Emperor's rule by the Mandate of Heaven back in the day, no? Another key component of the bargain involves assurance of stability in the form of an expansive security presence, from police to plainclothes cops to the People's Liberation Army officers to the young guy in the guardhouse at our front gate. To live in China is to be surveyed, watched, kept tabs on. If you cross a certain line, particularly the line of trying actively to involve Chinese citizens in some kind of mobbish political behavior, or group people together for an event of any purpose, you run a risk of activating this surveillance force. This is how folks "get disappeared" (Chinese folks mostly, as the international outcry if this was to happen to a foreigner would add to the massive PR problem China has already).

There is, on the other hand, kinds of lawlessness here that are startling to Westerners. To drive in Beijing, or even to be driven in a cab or bus here, is to feel a fear possible only in the midst of total chaos. Recent government transition has led to recent enforcement of several traffic laws, but in general, lane lines and street lights are interpretive, backing up on a busy highway to get to the exit ramp you missed is a frequent occurrence, accidents happen all the time.

More recently, at a pond hockey tournament on Houhai Lake this weekend, the organizers overlooked the need for a good, accessible bathroom for use by the players slamming copious amounts of Heineken over the course of the day. Eventually, the guys started pissing through a chain-linked fence bordering the hockey rink area, directly onto the ice being overseen from shore by hundreds of tourists. In a place where infant children routinely crap on the sidewalk, unable or unwilling to wait until the nearest public bathroom, and with parents who are remiss to throw money away on diapers, this must not have seemed like too much of a big deal to onlookers--at least the Chinese ones.

Beijing pollution and financial crisis

It struck me today that the recent spate of gross pollution is doing to Beijinger's sense of the pollution scale what the global financial crisis did to our sense of the idea of billions versus trillions of dollars. A reading of over 500 pm2.5 (technically "beyond reading" on the US Embassy pollution monitor) has been crossed so much recently that it's been reduced somewhat--just as reports of Trillions of dollars lost in the CDO market and bailout funds of the past decade have reduced that once enormous amount of cash to the level we once associated psychologically with smaller amounts of money. Trillion is the new billion; 500+ pm2.5 is the new 150 pm2.5. Let's hope everyone's respiratory systems are able to keep up...

Costner times and places

I reserve the right to write as First Lieutenant John J. Dunbar as if he's living across a number of different times and places, including the following:

• Present-day Beijing/China
• Present-day Great Plans
• Olden-days Beijing/China
• Olden-days Great Plains

Costner: Lincoln

After reading a piece of the published account of the life of our President Lincoln, I am impressed by the man's character in the face of an impoverished upbringing and an ugly visage. Not each and all of us can be pretty, and not all of us know how to develop alternate methods of attraction. I am most interested in the role storytelling played in his life and career. Until I came to the plains, the value of a good story and a good teller was unclear to me; there's no time for such things while adrift in the entertainments of city life back east. I see in my tribal friends, Stand With Fist and Lips That Move, both experts at the art of weaving a yarn, that stories are not just for passing time, not just for fun, but for history, for politics, for persuasion, for making meaning out of all the vicissitudes of life. One can see in Lincoln's gift his rearing in a place not unlike my current locale. He would fit in well with my community here.

Costner: Pollution

I awoke today to an acrid odor stinging my nostrils and eyes. The sky outside was the color of volcanic ash. There was a tasteable difference in the quality of the air here, something metallic, beyond simply the taste of dust one sometimes gets from the windstorms that pass through this area. In the distance a factory that provides us with hot water continuously belched out clouds of white vapor. Whether or not this was steam, or steam and other hazardous things, I do not know. The overwhelming feeling one received from the whole scene was that of impending, or recently arrived apocalypse. The end of the world. What kind of people would let this type of destruction occur? What horrific behavior, what continuous abuse of the land and the air could eventuate a scene like this? Perhaps these are not questions for a foreigner to ask, but after such time here, after making my life here for some years, I am also invested. It is enough to make one reconsider the entire endeavor of career-making in this country.

Costner: Andre Agassi

One cannot abide a man with no hair and such sass. He reads to me as if he is a grumpy man, unfulfilled but trying to convince others of his completeness. Suffering at the hands of his father, a horrific taskmaster that forced him to hit thousands of balls fired at him by a machine they called "the dragon," he could only know he was experiencing just a level of agony on a myriad scale. Has he ever tried to stay warm on a cold winter's night outside Pierre, South Dakota? Has he ever had to pull the shaft of an arrow shaft out through his calf? These are the problems that populate days on the plains. Family? Hah!

Tetris

Having had a chance to be sitting around the apartment all day, the TV has been getting a lot of work. Between movies and Wii, it's actually been a pretty entertaining afternoon. Tetris has been a highlight. It's amazing to see how a good, simple concept can make for a great video game experience almost 30 years after its creation. Playing feels like a brain massage. I need to practice, as I keep getting my ass kicked. I hate those freaking zigzag pieces!

Beijing fog

Before heading out to get lunch today we looked out our window to find a layer of haze so thick outside that we couldn't see past the police station building down the street, maybe 100 yards away. Hockey friends sent screenshots over Weixin showing the US Embassy's air quality index; 799 was the highest I saw. Average in American cities is somewhere between 50 and 100; on a smoggy day, Los Angeles would hit about 120. At 500, international schools tell students to stay inside. My guess would be that 700 could be downright harmful if you were running around too much outside. Needless to say, we ordered lunch in.

Costner: Inertia

It occurred to me today as I was walking across the flats in town center that folks just float through here. I will be charging hard down the street when a Chinese man will make eye contact with me, there standing right in front of my path of movement. He's moving slow and is moving in such a way that we will collide in just a moment. I slightly alter course and charge by, him looking at me, mostly expressionless but maybe grinning very slightly, content that he has ceded nothing and I have moved to make way for him. I am not sure whether this float, this kind of inertia toward which bodies in motion tend to stay in motion in China, I am not sure from where it comes from. I do know that the woo shoo arts of martial combat that in which I see the young men partake involves not so much the use of force, but the use of your opponent's force against them. Using the force from the system to beat the system: this does not seem unlike what happened with the man today.

CONTRADICTION: "Modest" and "Proud"

In trying to express to students in class that they deserve to be proud of the good work they accomplish, I received some unexpected pushback. "Chinese people are very modest," or so I've heard from several friends in expressing how the quiet and reserved nature of Chinese folks when it comes to receiving compliments puts this feature on display.

That said, there is no doubt that Chinese folks are in many ways a very prideful people, no more so than when it comes to pride in history and culture--with good reason. Five thousand years of cultureal development (albeit a development fraught with fits and starts), with one of the world's oldest continuously-existing language systems, with a capital city spotted with ancient temples and alleyways winding among modern skyscrapers... I'm proud to be a Beijinger and I'm not even Chinese! On a personal rather than societal level, the self-effacement that comes in receiving compliments has its reciprocal: loss of face in instances of embarrassment. The nervous smiles that one sees accompanying people here when they do something as simple as drop a chopstick on a restaurant floor, or stand out for having done something minimally foolish or silly, displays a discomfort that makes even the observer squirm sometimes. This nervousness about appearances associated with maintaining face, to me, reveals something about an individual pride that seems to revolve around maintaining a "harmonious" appearance and lifestyle with people and things around you.

With that said, people here go about living incredibly stressful lives in the context of a confusing and developing city and society with an ease and grace that astounds me. Everyone here is bound by a sense that life in China is very difficult; I guess expats sometimes forget that they are not the only ones getting screwed by the system and annoyed by the crowds. It's amazing that most Chinese folks, most of the time, bear this burden with a Zen-like unflappableness that I'm still trying to approach. I believe this "unflappability" comes from a healthy lack of egotism, a kind of modesty: "I am not the center of the world, and I have to accept that there are things that are out of my control, do what I can, and move on. If I don't, I'm gonna drive myself and everyone else nuts." The Western sense of individual empowerment and agency doesn't help expats in China very much in these stressful instances, because ego usually enters into things: "I am being inconvenienced. The system is screwing me."

Costner: Company food

A long ride through a harsh Chinese winter day had us hard up for some chow come lunchtime at noon today. Once again the cook made off like a Sioux bandit at our expense: some type of soya sauce-flavored dou fu, no meat to speak of and some cold vegetables. When there is meat to be had, from the texture of it one might think it is either the dou fu or one of the tabby cats that sometimes wanders through our yard. Cookie is a kind man, quick to laugh, but I am not reassured about his personal hygiene and subsequently the carry-over there may be to the makeup of our meals. I cannot complain, as cold, bad, free chow is better than no chow at all. I can only imagine the people in this land who pass their days with much less on their table than I.

Costner: Pond skating in China

The people in the more ancient parts of this city are hospitable and accepting. I am yet to fully comprehend their manners, but they regard my incredible foreignness with smiles and well-wishes. At no other time has this been more apparent than in putting on my pair of metal-heeled boots to move around on the frozen pond in the area I hear them refer to as the Ho-Hi. As I glide around, grinning and occasionally falling, the smiles sometimes turn to outright guffaws. I cannot begrudge them that; me in the steel boots on the frozen water is sight I wish I could capture with one of the new image capture machines from France. How I wish them to be here for purchase or barter in the Orient! After a long morning of perspiration and achievement with friends, we moved into the thin alleyways of the surrounding courtyard terraces for Italian bread and cheese as well as some lager beers. The afternoon will no doubt prove to be a slow and pleasant one.

What a day

Got no sleep last night chatting with a buddy who I haven't seen in a while, leading into McDonald's, transitioning to cab to Houhai Lake to knock the puck around, to the lovely German cafe Zarah in Gulou for cappucino and a pretzel, moving on to LaoMan dumplings and their amazing meat pies, into an immaculate cab maintained by the most neurotic clean freak cabbie I have ever met--he hated my hockey gear.

Have to try getting up early more often!

Ode to Longjohns

O Longjohns! how I love thee!
I love thee in a way in reverse proportion to the hate I had for you as a child
When ski trips had me wear you, itchy and scratchy and unnecessary
...I thought.
ow times have changed! How I know I need you now!
As the mercury drops through a street oyster-laden Beijing sidewalk,
As I huddle inside for warmth, trying to feel my toes again,
I understand that the only thing separating my lower body from total arctic disaster
Is that itchy, scratchy, necessary uncomfortableness.
I will never take you for granted again!

CONTRADICTION: "Developed" and "Developing"

This is the first in a series of posts I would like to write on how China is constituted by an enormous number of contradictions; it's a primary quality of the flux of this place, and one of the country's most interesting features. Let's begin would be with one of the centralmost points: China as both a developed and developing country.

The Beijing transportation authorities have just completed a subway line running underneath the entirety of the 3rd Ring Road. It's fast, clean, efficient... only time will tell how good the engineering really is, but for now it seems great. The CCTV Tower in Guomao, the so-called "pants building," is one of the most interesting architectural achievements I've ever seen. Terminal 3 at Beijing Capital airport is equally spectacular. Jinbao Jie boasts the Hong Kong Jockey Club and a Lamborghini dealership. All around you, there are constructed reminders of how Beijing has arrived as a global cosmopolitan center.

I am greeted every morning here by the crowing of a rooster outside my apartment building. I live in a typical apartment block, surrounded by other high-rises, malls, Starbucks and McDonald's. But the shop where I get my motorbike repaired still has a resident chicken from which the bike shop owner's family collects eggs for breakfast. The owner himself owns a clutch of finches, which he trains as what I think looks like carrier pigeons, to fly away and come back to him as he wills it. A good friend who visited Beijing last year observed how, despite all the modern trappings, the biggest first impression he received upon seeing the people in Beijing is the very slight remove everyone has from the rhythms and movements of a rural, agricultural lifestyle: shopping daily for fresh produce, chatting loudly to one another as if there was no one else around to hear, stolling carelessly on crowded city streets, spitting and bathroom breaks in public, extreme warmth and hospitality shown to foreign guests, a dedication to ancient medicines and practices. As built-up as Beijing may get, the countryside is never far away.

New Years 2013

The most immediately striking thing about 2013: man, it is damn cold outside. Even insulated with longjohns and multiple upper body layers, it is freezing just standing around outside. Thick bootsoles can stop the icy asphalt from creeping up into the bottom of my feet. On the bike, the gap of exposed skin between the helmet's chin protector and top of my scarf gets so cold it almost feels like freezer burn. While rubbing my hands to get them warm I had that bizarre sensation of a part of your body being separate because it's numb and you can't feel yourself touching your own skin--kinda wild. Nothing a little Sichaun dry hotpot can't fix, luckily.